I've had a few people ask me how things have progressed with my situation. I've had to face some harsh realities. I've concluded that fighting a sociopath is mostly an uphill battle due to the enormous burden of proof it takes to bring one down. I've decided the best thing I can do is be a loving father to my son and let him make his own decision, as he gets older. He already says he wants to stay with me and I see it as highly likely he will make that decision when he is old enough to decide which parent he wants to stay with. In the mean time, I make decisions that keep the peace between his mother and myself. Anything else would add stress to my sons life and that is the last thing I want.
If I believed there were some immediate harm occuring to my son I would definitely not take the tact I have. Barring some physical risk I will bide my time and do the best I can with the hand I've been dealt. I'm sure everyones situation differs from mine and that my decision will not prove a good fit for everyone else. The one piece of advice I would give to anyone else, keeping in mind that I am no expert in the field, is to do what you think is right for your child. If you are in a relationship with a sociopath and there are no children involved I would tell you to get away as fast as possible.
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Thank you for having the courage to post this publicly and sharing your experience. My family is dealing with someone ("Jane") who we are pretty sure is a sociopath. Unfortunately, the state does not seem to recognize this and it is very hard to prove.
Jane lives with her elderly parents, alternately manipulating them to feel sorry for her or otherwise intimidating them with temper tantrums, so she has access to their money and they can't make her leave their house. When her brother and sister tried to intervene, Jane successfully fought a temporary restraining order and moved back into her parents' house, somehow brainwashing the parents into telling the aunts & uncles that their other children had forced the them to get the restraining order to stop Jane from protecting them (the true story is quite the opposite!) from her brother & sister who wanted to get at their parents' money.
Although Jane has a long history of mental illness (on disability for bipolar illness most of her adult life, endless prescriptions for psychiatric medications, and no employment other than a couple of menial jobs), violent incidents for which the police have been called many times, broken relationships including numerous people who have tried to file restraining orders with the police to protect themselves but which Jane always seems to get overturned in court, and numerous psychiatrists and therapists Jane has fired and threatened with lawsuits as soon as they said or did anything she didn't like, and abusive behavior such as voice messages, emails and texts, none of this ever seems to hold any water in court. Jane has a lawyer (funded by her friends she has fooled into thinking she is harmless) who always digs up dirt on us (incidents from years ago including suspension for marijuana in high school, treatment for depression 10 years ago, any unemployment, divorce or marital problems - even nude paintings one of us published in an art magazine!) to discredit us and make us appear unstable. Somehow the courts ignore any real evidence that it is Jane who is the unstable one, blocking any attempts to call attention to her own history of mental illness (copies of her prescriptions, e-mails from her describing her diagnoses/medications/symptoms, and specific hospitalization dates) either due to patient privacy laws or calling it "hearsay".
By now most of the family sees the truth, but most live far away and are afraid to get involved (at this point most of them just avoid her). She calls on the phone at inappropriate hours, begging for money for her and her parents. She has already spent her parents' entire retirement savings on her own whims, and when that ran out even convinced them to mortgage their own home (which is now in danger of foreclosure) and she blames for making poor financial decisions, saying that they have dementia and she was unable to convince them to do the right thing. She turns vicious against anyone who sees what is really happening, calling them incessantly and berating them with abusive language, and many relatives have had to block the parents' own phone number just to avoid Jane's calls. So her parents are becoming increasingly isolated from the family. Jane manipulates the parents into feeling sorry for her or else intimidates them with her temper so that they continue to let her live in their house and run things.
The more our family fights against Jane's manipulation, the more destructive and aggressive she becomes, trying to ruin our lives in all kinds of ways - using any information about us she can get (to the point where no one can tell the parents *anything* about our lives!) to spread made up stories to our employers/relatives/friends/business partners trying to get us fired or ruin our reputations. Somehow we always come out looking bad with Jane smelling like a rose and looking like the victim.
Isn't their any sort of law enforcement agency or investigator that can help expose someone like this?
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