I've made it back from Iraq, although without realizing all of my financial goals. I ended my work prematurely to be with my son. It's difficult to imagine how much a person can love one of their children until they have to spend a substantial amount of time away from them. I eventually decided that being with my son was more important than my financial debt. I've been back for over a month now and although the battle with his mother has begun all over again it is definitely worth it to spend time with him. This is the only thing that makes it tolerable to put up with his mothers lies and manipulation.
It's really quite amazing how easily a Sociopath can tell a lie without the slightest hesitation or expression of emotion. I think what I notice most about it is how unemotionally they do it. The lack of emotion is what tells on them. Not a trace of guilt comes across in their expression or mannerisms. When I think of how guilty I would feel telling the same lies she does it almost makes me ill. My main hope, as "Anonymous" stated, is that she will self-destruct and I will be there to assist my son and, yes, I admit it, witness her downfall with some satisfaction. It may sound petty but with all I've suffered from her divisiveness I will feel some vindication when she does fall.
4 comments:
Hi Jeffrey,
I found your blog after reading Martha Stout's book. Your last post was Feb. 07 and I'm curious... how your battle has gone? Has she self-destructed and lost her camo? I feel for you, I've battled some sociopaths due to my position and work, and out of sheer desperation began searching for material to help understand what on earth we have gone through at the hands of seemingly normal people. Stout's book is the latest one we've found and by far the absolute best. I hope you are well.
John
I found your blog after feeling the sadness of my boyfriend's 16 year old boy admitting that "I have mother who doesn't love me" when trying to pick out a Mother's Day card. I was startled reading your blog, as the situation is so similar.
His mother is a sociopath and was taken away by the court and his father given full custody ONLY because he's a diabetic and UCSF finally got involved.
Nothing the court appointed mediators and counselors would have ever gone against her cunning lies.
The divorce is going on now over 3 years and she has been through 4 attorneys. She keeps fabricating new lies and new amounts that he owes her written on pieces of paper (her definition of documentation).
Anyway, I'm going to get the book for the 16 year old boy. I had a mother like this so I want to help him. Do you recommend it for someone that young?
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Hello, I am going through the exact same situation you are only I didn't just come back from Iraq. I had many issues of my own that I had to grapple with after having a son and not knowing how to take care of him when I couldn't even take care of myself. I spent almost four months away from him simply because I had to get away from his mother. I didn't know what she was back then. She sued me for full custody. I couldn't afford to fight her after the first six months so I gave up thinking that I was being the bigger person. I signed over full custody of my son to her for the right to see him whenever I want. Her stipulation was that I could only visit him at her house and that I can't take him out of her house. So, twice a week for about three months I went over there for two hours at a time to see my son. Multiple times I was cancelled on minutes before I was about to come over. After our son was about 18 months old, she started warming up to me again. She said she wanted to get back together but not tell my family. So we did. I should have known then something was wrong, but I went with it. I protected myself and she told me she was protecting herself. Long story short, we had a nasty break-up because I told her that I thought she might have a problem with anger and mood swing and drinking. I told her I wanted to help, she threw me out. Six weeks later she tells me she is pregnant again. She has completely lied to everyone in my family. She constantly lies to our therapist about things she said or didn't say. I just recently was told by the second therapist she decided she didn't like that she might be a sociopath. I started looking it up and found her to mirror all the literature I found then I found your blog. I really feel for you and I would like to contact you.
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