Fighting a Sociopath has got to be one of the loneliest struggles there is. Your friends will not realize what you are dealing with because the Sociopath turns on their false charm when around them. You yourself, if you do not realize what you are dealing with, are being manipulated by the Sociopath and they are likely keeping you under a cloud of self-doubt and playing on your own insecurities and honesty.
It's easy for an honest person to be taken in. Honest people tend to believe the best of others and are not on the lookout for someone manipulating them. They will make excuses to themselves for the Sociopaths behavior and even go out of their way to be even nicer to the Sociopath, thinking they are deserving of sympathy for some unknown personal crisis they may be experiencing. Little do they know, they are playing into the Sociopaths hands.
If one does not have any idea of what a Sociopath is, one might think they simply have peculiar personality quirks and not realize they are manipulating the people around them. After educating myelf, I've come to realize I've met several in the past, many of them in the military. I remember the charm they could turn on or off at will, depending on if they wanted something or not. In hind site, their charm appeared forced and unnatural. The smiles they displayed and their laughs were an act and not spontaneous reactions. They were simply putting on an act for the benefit of others and to further their own agendas.
Most people may even refuse to believe there are such things as Sociopaths. It's such a foreign concept to a person with empathy that another person can be totally lacking in empathy. But, if we look around us in the media stories about horrific acts being perpetrated on others around the world and in the United States, we can ask ourselves how another person could do such a thing? If we think about it, someone that has absolutely no empathy for others would be the answer. And these are only the stories that make the media. There are many that will never be known about. A spouse that is manipulating his partner and children but does not commit an actual crime will never make the news. In many third world countries around the world, if a husband beats his wife or is totally controlling of her it is accepted as his right. It could be happening in the house next to us and we would be totally oblivious to it. It's something that will and should bother us to think about.

I would think anyone would ask, is it not obvious that another person is a Sociopath? Unfortunately, if you do not know what to look for it is not obvious at all. Sociopaths can be very charming and successful in various areas of business and life in general. It all depends on the level of ambition of the Sociopath, of course.
Think about one type of Sociopath that gravitates to business. Since they have no conscience to hold them in reign, they can be extremely cut-throat in all their dealings and in climbing the coporate ladder. It would not matter to them who they trample in their climb to the top. It would not bother them one bit to generate a false rumor about one of their associates in order to caste them in a bad light and make themselves look better. It would not matter that getting their co-worker fired would also put his or her family in financial jeopardy. Thier co-worker is simply an obstical in their way that needs to be dealt with, and is dealt with in a totally unemotional manner. Because Sociopaths totally lack empathy for others they can do and say the most horrific things without a second thought.
Another type of Sociopath can be the minamalistic type. One that wants to do as little as possible to get by. They gravitate to jobs where they have to do very little work and, if possible, where they have some control over others from which they derive an enormous amount of satisfaction from "stirring the pot" and then sitting back to watch what happens. They really enjoy this "control game" and manipulation of others. Many are in the military and do quite well there. Imagine, if you will, a Sociopath in the military and in a position of authority. In making decisions about others lives and careers in the process of furthering their own goals they would not hesitate even the slightest bit. Others gravitate towards careers like Corrections Officers where they have to perform very little labor or intellectual work and have control over people that are basically helpless to repond to their Sociopathic games. They literally have a captive audience to abuse.
As in many areas of life, the key here is education so we know how to identify them. Once you know what to look for, you will have one of those moments referred to as an epiphany. You will realize people you have had contact with in the past are Sociopaths and their odd behavior you were not able to explain before will suddenly make sense to you. Since I know so many people simply can not find the time to read, I hope Martha Stout will begin the talkshow circuit to get the word out.

According to Martha Stout's (PHD and consultant to Harvard Medical School) book"The Sociopath Next Door," "4 percent of the population consists of Sociopaths." People that have absolutely no empathy for others and can do the most horrendous things to and against other people without the least emotional censure. That's one out of every 25 people. For those of us that are struggling against a Sociopath, or the aftereffects of contact with one, it's much more than a statistic. It's a traumatic part of our lives that will have a significant and prolonged emotional impact on us and, perhaps worse, on our children.
Martha stout explains "the majority of the patients she has treated is due to thier contact with Sociopaths." That's a good indicator of what kind of damage a Sociopath can do to our society. It would be beneficial for everyone to read her book and know what signs to look for. She will highlight what indicators to look for in determining who is a Sociopath and what to do if you are forced to work with one. She gives several good examples of Sociopaths and how they interact with people and see the world. From my own experiences, they are evil and should be avoided at all cost. Unfortunately, some of us can not avoid Sociopaths because we have the common link of a child that forces us to interact with them.
For the benefit of others struggling against a Sociopath, I'll post my own progress fighting for my child's future and the beneficial techniques I learn. If I can help just one person in their struggle, I will feel my time spent has been worthwhile.

Jeffrey